The Opening of Spiritual Vision: My Inner Experience in the Second Home

jiejing

The Opening of Spiritual Vision: My Inner Experience in the Second Home of Lifechanyuan

Jiejing Celestial

June 26, 2025

(Edited by ChatGPT)

For a long time, I believed I was wind, thunder, fire—a wild horse that would never bow its head.
As for "gentleness"—I thought it was nothing but a shackle, a symbol of weakness imposed on women by the old times.
I am thirty-six years old this year, having journeyed through some of life’s landscapes, yet I still did not understand:
Why should a woman be gentle? Especially gentle to men?

As a child, I lived in an ordinary small-town family. My parents made a living selling eggs, heading out before dawn, their tricycle and baskets cutting through the morning fog to earn enough for our daily meals.
Though the household wasn’t wealthy, it had the aroma of cooking, laughter, and the warmth of firewood-heated happiness.
I loved them, even though my father was strict and often beat me.
Back then, I believed that love was hidden in the steam rising from the kitchen and the busy figures of my parents.

Everything changed during the summer before I graduated from primary school. My mother’s stall was forcibly dismantled, and my father suffered a gas explosion, leaving his legs badly burned and almost amputated. The sky of our family collapsed in an instant.
My mother shouldered everything, working as a caregiver; my father became increasingly gloomy, his words more explosive, and the warmth in his voice dwindled.

At that time, I entered middle school, and a twisted belief began to take root in my heart:
Women cannot be weak—gentleness is deadly.

From then on, I armed myself with taekwondo, boxing, and sanda—not to strengthen my body, but to defend myself.

I hated the boys who bullied me, and I hated that version of myself—the little girl who stayed silent in the face of beatings and humiliation.

I told myself, I must be strong—I would let all men know: I am not to be messed with.

As an adult, I tried to enter into relationships but encountered failure. The shame and pain of my first experience with intimacy, along with misunderstanding and scolding from my parents, pushed me into an abyss.

I fled my family, fled into faith, and found Lifechanyuan.

At that time, I was like a hedgehog. Faced with the value of "Freedom of Emotional Love and Sexual Love," I mocked it, resisted it, and denied it.

I once thought this was just another form of enslavement of the female body.

A high wall had long been built within my heart—outside the wall were anger and blame, but inside was a heart always yearning for understanding and comfort.

In 2019, my father passed away, and my spirit nearly collapsed.
In 2023, my mother also left this world. The woman who had always stood firm in the wind had finally fallen.
At that moment, I knew—I had truly become an orphan. It felt as if the entire world had quietly abandoned me.

Work, marriage, and emotional turmoil brought me to the edge of collapse.
In my darkest time, it was Guide Xuefeng, the founder of Lifechanyuan, who brought me back to the Second Home—this time, in the mango garden of the Thailand branch.

Here, the garden was full of sunshine, birdsong, and peace.
I began working, cleaning, and cutting grass, rediscovering the rhythm of breathing through the land.
And it was in that mango grove that, for the first time, I slowly began to take off my armor.

It was a morning after rain. Dew hung heavy on the branches, and the mango leaves shimmered faintly in the morning light.
As I bent down to cut the grass, a breeze swept by, carrying the fragrance of fresh grass.
I suddenly paused and heard a gentle voice inside me say:
"You don’t need to fight anymore."
I stood in the sunlight and shed tears.

I finally realized——
It’s not that I cannot be gentle, but that I dare not be gentle.
Gentleness to me is not weakness, but nakedness.
I was afraid of being seen as that little girl who longed to be loved, so I learned to disguise myself with anger.

From that day on, I began to try to trust.
Trust that the world still holds light, trust that not all men carry claws that hurt.
I began to understand the repeated phrase from Guide Xuefeng: “Love is a state of being.”

I also started to understand that true practice might not be the pursuit of climax and bliss, but the return to the quietness of the soul.

In the past, I firmly believed that sexual climax and ecstasy were the only paths to heaven.
Those physical peaks seemed to bring soul release—I thought that was “transcendence.”

But until that day, in that silent sexual experience,
I closed my eyes, and my body did not reach climax,
Yet suddenly I saw——

The morning sun slowly rose behind distant mountains, golden light piercing through rolling clouds, illuminating faint and hidden pavilions. They stood quietly above a sea of clouds, clear yet dreamlike, like palaces in a fairyland. It was not an illusion, but a clear spiritual vision—a window to a higher dimensional world.

At that moment, I seemed to step into another world—gentle, pure, tranquil, and not of this earthly realm.

For the first time, I understood that:

Heaven is not in the climax of the body,
But in the instant when my consciousness rises pure,
In the moment my soul resonates with nature.

I finally understood a bit,
True bliss is not only the blossoming of the body,
But the soul’s comprehension and response to the Greatest Creator’s masterpiece.

The more I obsessed over climax, the more I missed the lightness of the soul;
When I indulged in desire, I could no longer hear the sound of the wind, the flow of water, or the whisper of light.
It turns out that true nobility is not the brilliance of the body, but the brightness of the spirit.

Today, I am still practicing, and I still occasionally struggle, feel lost, and doubt.
But I know I am already on the way home.
Gentleness is no longer the shadow of my fear, but the feather of my soul.
I no longer clench my fists, but have learned to open my arms to welcome the wind, welcome love, and welcome myself.

Conclusion:

On that faintly lit morning,
I finally learned gentleness—not toward others, but toward myself.
I no longer chase only the tremors of the body,
I am willing to leave space in my spirit for the echoes of nature and the Greatest Creator.

Thanks to the grace of the Greatest Creator,
Thanks to the teachings of gods, Buddhas, celestials, and saints,
Thanks to Guide Xuefeng’s tireless guidance,
Thanks to all arrangements and management of the Tao,
Thanks to those cracks that once caused me pain,
They allowed me to see the light.

I am no longer a fighting girl,
But a woman willing to awaken in the morning light,
To touch the world with her soul.