Waking Up in the Second Home of Lifechanyuan: Listening to the Body

jiejing

Waking Up in the Second Home of Lifechanyuan:
Listening to the Body – From Jealousy to Deep Realizations of “Sexual Hunger” and “Emotional Hunger”

Jiejing Celestial

August 4, 2025

（Edited by ChatGPT)

1. Awakening in the Secular World: Under the Name of Love, the Silent Body Weeps Softly

After thirty-three years of slumber in the secular world, I believed I understood "love," yet I failed to notice that my body had long been quietly weeping in silence.

At thirty, I got married and began the first relatively lasting intimate relationship of my life. He was new to it, and although I was not, it felt as if I had become a beginner all over again. That year, we were like two young deer venturing into the forest for the first time, exploring each other’s bodies and hearts with tenderness and curiosity. Intimacy came like spring wind brushing over long-untilled soil—brief, but gentle and grounding.

I believed that was pleasure. At that time, I did not yet understand what it meant to long for sex, nor did I perceive the hunger for love and connection. I simply thought that embracing each day was a natural part of love.

But the following year, he gradually withdrew. Our intimacy waned from daily to weekly, and then to months without contact. One day, he said coldly, “Didn’t I tell you before? I can go a month without it and remain calm like still water.” I was stunned—like a forgotten seed in spring, still yearning to sprout, but with nowhere to take root.

I still longed for him, still missed him. But he had become like a frozen lake—silent and unmoving.

On the day we parted, I asked, “Can we still be ordinary friends?”
He sneered, “Ordinary friends? I don’t need that.”

In that moment, I felt the deepest loneliness the mortal world can offer.

2. Self-Healing: Revival through Music, Dance, Sweat, and Tears

I blocked him on WeChat, yet I couldn’t close that heavy door in my heart.

After we separated, loneliness followed me like a shadow, especially cold and empty in the quiet of the night.

I tried to fill the cracks of solitude with music, searching for a melody that belonged to me. Until one day, a gentle tune slowly flowed like a breeze over a tranquil lake, quietly soothing my tense emotions. Wordless and formless, it gradually helped me let go, calm down, and finally learn to release.

I realized that listening to music wasn’t because I missed him, but to comfort myself. It was a silent tenderness, a quiet flow like water, a freedom that brushed by like the wind.

Soft music became my healing companion, a new kind of intimacy. Within the melodies, I no longer longed for him, but peacefully kept company with myself.

During work breaks, music accompanied me; when weary, a certain melody moistened my eyes and lit a gentle glow deep within my heart.

It was a profound period of transition.
I awakened my body’s softness through classical dance,
cleansed my restless thoughts with swimming,
expanded my soul’s boundaries by learning new languages,
and continued to diligently study Chanyuan Corpus,
finding a trace of peace and introspection in Guide Xuefeng’s words.

I replaced my craving for intimacy with rhythm and sweat, gradually learning to stand independently and breathe alone.

The “hunger” never disappeared; it slept deeper beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to slowly resurface.

He contacted me again due to illness, seeking help with his lumbar disc herniation report. I softened, and emotions stirred. Like a traveler in the desert, he reached out to me—an old spring.

That night, his desire felt strange to me. I was surprised by his passion, and also shocked by my own emptiness. But as I indulged in pleasure, a flash of contempt crossed his eyes.

I finally understood—we were no longer on the same wavelength. What he wanted was merely the body; what I longed for was the resonance of souls.

3. Entering the Path of Practicing Tao: Exploring the Natural Way of Emotional and Sexual Love in the Second Home of Lifechanyuan

After my mother passed away, arranged by Guide Xuefeng, I entered Lifechanyuan International Family Society Thailand Branch.

Life here was completely different from the mundane world. There were no distractions, temptations, or noise—only the morning birdsong, the forest breeze, and the starry nights accompanied my quiet mind. In this pure land, I learned to slow my pace, listen to the language of my body, and feel every breath and heartbeat.

I practice the Lifechanyuan values of “reverence for the Greatest Creator, LIFE, nature and walking the way of  the Greatest Creator,” as well as “owning nothing, yet possessing everything.” With my basic needs and the cycle of birth, aging, sickness, and death no longer burdensome, the Second Home takes care of me attentively. As a result, my spirit feels lighter, worries gradually fade, and it becomes easier to find inner peace.

Daily tasks were simple and pure—mowing grass, planting, cleaning, online promotion. Six hours of free work gave me more space for practice and insight.

Even more precious are the members here who resonated with Lifechanyuan Values, accepting freedom in emotional and sexual love, with no attachments, mutual respect, and building a harmonious energy field together.

In this environment, I gradually let down my defenses, keenly sensing the changes in my body and inner desires, learning to recognize the subtle “hunger” and “fullness,” letting things flow naturally and peacefully.

The “hunger” of emotional love felt like a brief ripple in the stomach—not a craving for food, but a longing for someone. It was invisible and silent, without concrete images, gently awakening the soul’s yearning, and it lasted a relatively short time.

The “hunger” for sexual love lasted a bit longer, with gentle images repeatedly appearing in the mind. This desire was real and soft, like a breeze brushing over the heart, bringing subtle calls and anticipation.

Before this, I had not fully understood that this was “sexual hunger,” only vaguely sensing that indescribable longing quietly surging within, but I dared not face it or explore it deeply.

Tao's arrangement is always mysterious. One day, I responded in time to that desire. At that moment, I felt myself becoming softer and more grateful for this profound connection with my body.

Not long after, the emotional “hunger” truly appeared, and I realized that the body’s desire is never without roots. Sexual hunger and emotional hunger echoed each other, reminding me to attend to my true needs rather than avoid or suppress them.

This experience taught me: when “hunger” arises, one should “feed” promptly. This is not greed, but a respect and alignment with the truth of LIFE.

In the first year, like a hungry wanderer, I oscillated between desire and restraint, craving the nourishment of “sexual resources.”

By the second year, as my soul gradually cleared, sex was no longer an obsessive craving but like a warm meal—not for greed, but to feed each other with love, like the water of life, naturally flowing.

When I first experienced sex in resonance with my soul, that moment of tremor was like a divine revelation, awakening the long-dormant gate of my energy. It was then I truly understood that sexual love is also a practice—a graceful journey where soul and flesh dance together in the realm of no-self.

4. The Truth About Jealousy: It’s Not “Love,” But the Fear of Losing That Bite of Sustenance

Once upon a time, jealousy burned within me like a fierce flame, repeatedly scorching my heart. Whenever the male member I liked drew close to other female members, a wave of uncontrollable heat surged in my chest, as if scorched by fire, leaving me restless for a long time.

Back then, I thought it was “love,” it was “caring.” But in truth, more often than not, I was alone weaving unverifiable stories in my mind:
Does he no longer love me?
Is she better than me?
If he “eats” her “meal,” will he no longer long for my bite?

These thoughts were like invisible chains, linking one after another, binding me tightly.
I wasn’t afraid of losing him as a person, but afraid of losing that “meal” — the intimate companionship, the comforting response, the sense of being needed that reassured me.

Later, I gradually understood that the root of jealousy is not the other’s “better,” but my own inner “panic.”
It is the fear of being hungry, the fear of being neglected, forgotten, or not thought of. Jealousy is, in fact, a deeply hidden sense of “lack.”

When I began to see “sex” as “eating,” everything started to loosen.
Everyone gets hungry at times; everyone seeks their own “meal.” Meals aren’t exclusive, and neither is love. They are simply natural expressions flowing through LIFE

So I started to be more tolerant—first toward myself, then toward others.
I no longer treated someone as “my only dining table,” nor viewed relationships as resources to be possessed.

I finally understood that what I called “love” was actually fear of hunger.
Fear that no one would serve me a meal, fear that my bowl would be empty, fear that I would be forgotten in the restaurant of emotions.

And when I truly accepted: when hungry, make a meal date. When others are hungry, they naturally find their suitable meal.
It’s not comparison, replacement, or competition—just the flow of LIFE, naturally unfolding.

So what am I still jealous of?
Should I be furious if a friend goes to a restaurant I also like?
I used to be—because I saw that restaurant as proof that it belonged “only to me.”

But now I know: a meal is just a meal, love is love.
The fullness of the soul never depends on anyone’s possession.

As revealed by Guide Xuefeng in “Emotional Love and Sexual Love Should Be Treated Differently” and “Awakening to One’s True Nature”:

"Emotional love is a need and fulfillment of the spirit and soul, while sexual love is a need and fulfillment of the body. Emotional love can be combined with sexual love or exist separately from it, but sexual love can completely exist without emotional love. No matter how far apart emotionally loving partners are, no matter how long it has been since they last had sexual intimacy, they will still think of each other and care for each other because emotional love satisfies the needs of the spirit and soul. Sexual love, however, is different: once there is physical separation, sexual love disappears, because it requires physical contact between the bodies. Once the bodies are apart, sexual love cannot be born.

Lovers can exist without sexual love, but must have emotional love.

Prostitutes and clients can exist without emotional love, but must have sexual love.

Emotional love is long-lasting; sexual love is temporary and intermittent.

Emotional love is emotional love; sexual love is sexual love. They must not be confused. If emotional love is mistaken for sexual love, or sexual love mistaken for emotional love, pain will inevitably arise.

A person can maintain emotional love relationships with many opposite-sex partners, and can also have sexual relationships with many partners. Sexual love does not conflict with emotional love, and emotional love does not conflict with sexual love. Only when the two are confused do conflicts arise.

Those familiar with the “Dharma Patriarch’s Bloodline Theory” know that “Buddha is nature,” “Nature is Buddha.” Living according to nature to live is Buddha; violating nature to live is demon. “Food and sex are nature.” “Food and sex” are also Buddha.

Humans need both emotional love and sexual love. Emotional love and sexual love can be highly integrated, or can be kept distinct. Emotional love is like appreciating a work of art; sexual love is like eating a meal. You can appreciate the art while eating, appreciate the art alone, or just eat."

—Excerpted from “Emotional Love and Sexual Love Should Be Treated Differently”

"The more one is free of ego, form, attachment, and worry, the more they can experience the ultimate joy of sex. Those whose soul garden is free of weeds can better appreciate the beauty of sexuality. On the other hand, individuals who are self-centered, physically unwell, jealous, vain, possessive, and uncultivated will struggle to enjoy the wonder of sex throughout their lives. Even a partner with strong yang or flourishing yin energy will not be able to express that energy fully with such a person. It’s like having a good appetite but being served a dish that lacks color, aroma, or flavor—or worse, finding a fly or a strand of hair in an otherwise delicious meal. Appetite vanishes, or even turns into disgust.

Therefore, whether one can enjoy the beauty of paradise entirely depends on their own inner quality and external conduct—not on others. Supreme beauty is only meant for lives of supreme beauty. This is a mystery: if someone goes through life never able to experience truly beautiful things, it is because they themselves have not reached the corresponding level of beauty or refinement.
"When the flower is fragrant, butterflies will come; when the heart is pure, celestials will arrive."
If one has never met a “celestial,” it is because their heart is not yet pure.

To move with nature is to act in accordance with natural instinct or original nature.
To act as one pleases is to follow the mind's desires or personal will.
Nature is the intention of the Greatest Creator.
The mind is the intention of man.
When one acts according to the Greatest Creator’s will, all becomes orderly, harmonious, and beautiful. When one follows personal will, life is filled with troubles, pain, deceit, violence, and chaos.

Let us take rape as an example. Rape is an act of following one’s personal will, not natural instinct. Any act of imposing one's own will on another is an example of acting as one pleases, not acting in harmony with nature. This distinction becomes clear when we observe animals. A ram, when sexually aroused, will sniff a ewe’s urine or directly bring its nose to her tail. If the ewe is in heat and emits the proper signals, mating occurs naturally. If there is no such signal, the ram walks away to find another. It will never force itself on a ewe who is not in heat.
To disregard another's feelings and act by force is to follow selfish will—this is what people mean when they say someone is “worse than an animal.”
Acting in harmony with nature is civilized; acting according to selfish desire is barbaric.

There is an important value in Second Home life:"Heaven and Earth Reversed, the Female Chanyuan Celestials are Respected."
This value originates from the Thousand-Year World of the Heaven and the natural behavior of animals. In the Thousand-Year World, males act only in accordance with the needs of females, never violating their will. In the animal world, males only act when females release mating signals—they never force it. This is why the Thousand-Year World is harmonious and warm, and why animals can reproduce in orderly fashion.
If human society followed this value of “Heaven and Earth Reversed, the Female Chanyuan Celestials are Respected,” sexuality would not be repressed or lead to endless troubles, suffering, or misfortune. Instead, it would bring warmth, harmony, auspiciousness, and joy to the entire society.

I advocate acting according to nature, not following selfish desires.

The difference is this:
Acting by nature is egoless and selfless; acting by will is ego-driven and selfish.
Acting by nature is harmonious and natural; acting by will is chaotic and forceful.
Acting by nature shows full respect for LIFE; acting by will is about satisfying one’s own desires.

For example:
Mutual willingness is acting by nature;
One-sided desire is acting by will;
Mutual desire that is suppressed by overthinking or control is also acting by will;
Sacrificing oneself to meet another's needs is still acting by will;
Calculating pros and cons before taking action is acting by will.
Any behavior that factors in personal interest, loss or gain, is following selfish desire.
Only actions that neither suppress oneself nor harm others, society, or nature are acting in harmony with one’s true nature.

Resources are never truly scarce; scarcity arises because people occupy and control resources—sexual resources most of all.
In a group of ten men and ten women, if no one tries to possess or control anyone else, each person can potentially access ten resources. But if everyone claims exclusive ownership over one, then each is left with only one. In situations of limited resources, it becomes even more crucial not to possess or control them.
Monogamous relationships, such as couples and the concept of "one-to-one," are the most typical examples of the possession and control of sexual resources.

Picky eaters often suffer from a lack of food resources.
The more selective someone is, the fewer options they have. Whether it’s Western or Chinese food, northern or southern dishes, sweet, sour, bitter, spicy, or salty—vegetarian or meat, farm-raised or wild—as long as it's food, those who don't discriminate will never go hungry.

When you're hungry, you eat whatever food you can get.
If there’s abundance and variety, of course you can choose your favorites. But remember: the more delicious and appealing the food, the more people will want to eat it.
You can’t just sit on the dish to keep others from eating it. If you won’t eat it yourself but also won’t let others enjoy it, conflict and struggle are inevitable.
Learn to share.
Those who are unwilling to share will forever live in sorrow and will never truly experience life through nature.

Unlike a mine that is exhausted by digging, sexual resources are regenerative.
They can continuously offer new opportunities for enjoyment. So don’t worry about running out. Once you're satisfied, let others enjoy too. There's no need to fear depletion.

The most radiant sexual “blossoms” bloom between the most perfect partners.
Any imperfection from either side will dim that bloom.
Therefore, to experience sex in its most vibrant and glorious form, one must first strive for personal perfection.
Otherwise—if everyone could enjoy it without self-cultivation—everyone would be a celestial being already."

—Excerpted from “Awakening to One’s True Nature”

5. A Newest Awareness: Respect—The Quietest and Most Beautiful Blossom of a Spiritual Life

Lately, I’ve quietly become aware—
My body is beginning to grow a new kind of wisdom.

When I am “hungry,” intimacy feels like sweet dew falling—gentle, nourishing, and tender.
But when I am “not hungry,” even skin-to-skin closeness can stir a subtle discomfort in my heart, even a faint kind of “pain.”

This isn’t a conclusion reached by the mind,
But an intuition rising from the depth of LIFE itself—a soft whisper:
Follow nature, not desire; align with nature, not impulse.

What touched me most was an experience with a male member I liked.
When I gently said, “I’m not hungry,”
his fiery breath quieted in an instant—like a deer in the forest: gentle, restrained, and graceful.
No pressure, no resentment—just a calm and respectful silence.

In that moment, for the first time,
I truly felt that I was not a body waiting to be used,
but a sentient being—with choice, with spirit—seen, heard, and cherished.

Final Reflections:

So it turns out—
Jealousy can be like the wind—no longer tearing, just gently passing through.
Desire need not be suppressed or unleashed;
It can be softly acknowledged, tenderly held.
Emotional and sexual love are not abysses of craving—
But bridges to my true self.

All of this became clear to me because I stepped into Lifechanyuan,
Into the Second Home—
And into a journey of communion with Heaven and Earth, and dialogue with my own being.
Within the collective life of the Thailand Branch,
I saw the shadow of myself reflected, and came to understand the steps of others.

If LIFE truly is a path of spiritual cultivation,
Then emotional and sexual love are among its most delicate strings.
Play them with precision, and they resonate with clarity;
Strike them carelessly, and they give rise to discord.

May every seeker of truth among us
Eat with presence when hungry, and rest with ease when full;
No longer letting the mind hijack the body,
Nor fear sit in judgment of the heart.

May we, in the classroom of the Greatest Creator's love,
Learn to honor each other’s rhythms, trust the wisdom of the soul,
And in the selfless realm—
Follow nature in loving, and live with clarity and grace.